Muckety-Muck

"Achievements on the golf course are not what matters, decency and honesty are what matter."

-Tiger Woods

They say we are a celebrity obessed culture. I'd say every culture in human history has been celebrity obessed. Every point and time in history has had their Tiger Woods, or Michael Jordon, or movie star or some celebrity archetype.  At a superficial level we want to believe that with all the fame and fortune their lives are free from worry and full of joy.

Very few of us have the recipe for a perfect life and even for the lucky few that do fame and fortune have little or nothing to do with it. The Tiger Woods of ditch digging, grocery bagging, burger flipping or toilet cleaning has just a good of a chance of being happy as any celebrity past or present. OK, but what about the money? The money has to make you happy, right? I would argue not and it's the simple things that matter most.

So what is the answer you ask?  I'll share with you what i think, but keep in mind the answers are simple but the doing is the difficult part.

1. Money.   No matter what you make, save some, give some away and spend the rest.
2. Time.   Get up early or stay up late but not both. Find time for others but  most important make time for yourself.
3. Work.   Do an honest days work, look people in the eye and smile. Never steal, not even money. Never lie, ever.
4. Leisure.   Do what you want, when you can and do something productive.  Don't worry if you happen to choose doing nothing.
5. Attitude.   Never fear, find the good in all things, don't talk about others, don't procrastinate.
6. Purpose.   Find your purpose in life, stay true to it and pursue it with vigor. 

Home for the Holidays

"Oh, There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays"

-Robert Allen & Al Stillman's 1954 Christmas Classic

Just as so many things stay the same, then so much changes over the years when it comes to celebrating Christmas with your family.  We all grow older and the circumstances of our lives change from year to year.  Some almost imperceptible others more dramatically and it is hard to appreciate the changes when you're in the present moment.  Then there are the traditions that fade away, those that stand the test of time and the new ones that emerge.  Those traditions remind us of our bonds with those still present and of those that have moved on as well as those that will carry on.  We care about those traditions because they give reason for those we care about to come back to us this one special time of the year.  They are also a testament to the fact that we were loved and that the love we give will be able to go on in those we care about.  We hope that when we are gone the traditions we formed will allow our loved ones to have more special Christmases to come.

You hear the phrase "I wish it could be Christmas all year long".  Well, why shouldn't it should be!  Why should we wait to do all the things the Holidays prompt us to do?  Send a card, give a gift, spend time together and talk of fond memories.  As it stands, we live too fast, think far too much of ourselves and not nearly enough of others all year long.  Then we try to cram all the 'reason for the season' into one compressed point of time and space. 

So what's the answer you ask?  So simple, slow down, take time to reflect, pray and meditate.  Live by a set of principles that make space in your day for just that.  Then why not live by the Christmas principles?  They work that one time of the year.  No where does it say you can't celebrate a little holiday every day.  Right?  Want some help?  OK here are some 'to-do's' for you:

• Pick a time of the day every day to pray, meditate or reflect in a positive way on the past, present and future.
• Send a gift at a date of your choosing to a person that won't expect it.
• Send a 'Thinking of You' card to someone during some point of the year.  (write specifically why you are thinking of them)
• Find a day to invite in family and friends for a good meal and to share stories.  Make it an annual tradition.

Good luck and may our God bless you.

OMG!

"God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers?"

-Friedrich Nietzsche



As Nietzsche said "God is dead" and in a sense we certainly have attempted to kill the true sense of him.  But you know, they always say there no such thing as bad publicity.  Anytime we're talking about God that's a good thing.  The harder we try to kill God, in a philosophical sense, the more he, she, it lives.  It seems that all through history we have made the search for God a never ending game of "Where's Waldo" replete with all the requisite death and destruction.

I have the answer and so do you to the question of God but you may just not have realized it yet.  Take it from me, I've been through years of searching in churches, in books, places and have asked untold numbers of people if they've seen my God.  They all said they have but when I describe him it always turns out to be someone else's God.  Many were insistent that they knew my God and had some compelling descriptions.  The thing I really didn't appreciate were all the 'wild goose chases' people sent me on.  Now I do appreciate them because it helped me realize my God was right here all the time.   I no longer search and I don't ascribe to any one religious affiliation nor do I take any one person's word as a singular truth.  I spend my time with my God getting to know him/her better in my own way often with the help of others.

I'd recommend the same for you.

They Wish You a Merry Christmas

In life, my spirit never rose beyond the limits of our money-changing holes! Now I am doomed to wander without rest or peace, incessant torture and remorse!

-Jacob Marley, A Christmas Carol

Why is it that the Holiday season 'wigs me out'? On the one hand it may be all the stuff we feel compelled to buy to give as gifts and the ensuing insanity of it all.  However, please keep in mind I don't blame nor hold any one person accountable for the madness.  Actually, people are really not doing anything out of character.  It's really just a more visible and unified behavior brought on by and culminating in all that we call Christmas.  This Christmas spectacle is certainly not to be confused with anthing to actually do with Christ.  Each one of us for the most part behaves and reacts to Christmas much the same way we live and react to our normal daily lives. Some act in accordance with seeking acceptance and love, others just the blind thrill of shopping, and many are simply responding to the pressure of conformity imposed upon us by mass media and the ever present retail juggernauts.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could combine Christmas and Thanksgiving. Christgiving? No gifts, just a family gathering of loved ones and a good meal, conversation and football. Oh sure we'll eat too much and stress over being lumped together with family members we rarely ever see but on this one occassion.  But all the consumerism would be curtailed or stopped for that matter.  I understand many of you lobby continually to get the Christ out of the picture, so OK, then just keep Thanksgiving since the name works.  Then all the Whos in Whoville can still recognize Christ or Buddha or Mohammad or the Festivus Pole for the reason for their particular season.  But what about the retailers and their needs you ask?  Oh my, they'd go under without the holiday gift giving extravaganza sales boost, right? Maybe some would but others would adjust and we, not to mention the world, would be better off for the less of it. I personally didn't get anything for Christmas I couldn't live without or even need for that matter. Oh sure, I appreciate the thought that went into it but that's all I really need is just someone to think of me.  Isn't that a novel thought?

Maybe you agree or maybe you disagree or are somewhere in the middle. The big question is what will you do about it? Do something small and work your way up. Even changing your thoughts can make an impact. Take a moment to stop and think about your actions or the actions of others and what they may mean to someone near or far.  But above all don't stop loving yourself and those around you.

What's the most memorable gift you ever got for Christmas? How old were you and do you still have it? I remember a few things. I got a black and white 13" television when I was about 14 years old. I also remembering getting a digital wrist watch at 9 or 10 years old. Both of those things were super cool but I'm sad to say I have neither of them. I used to have a great Aunt Erma that would always give me something she had on hand as a impromptu gift. I believe the politically correct name is 'regifting'. For example, I remember her giving me a jar of Tang instant breakfast drink once. That was certainly memorable to say the least.


Merry Christmas and may your God Bless.

The Pleasure Principle

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."

— Leo Tolstoy

I was reading a biography of Mahatma Gandhi.  Gandhi lived a very modest lifestyle and that's to put it mildly.  He was a vegetarian but as important followed Brahmacharya which advocated among other things 'controlling the palate'.  Avoiding spices, sugar and eating as much food in it's natural raw state as possible.  As Gandhi said "until we conquer our palate's desire we can't control other aspects of our mind's desires." 

Our western world is not about controlling anything.  We're encouraged to thrill seek, indulge, have it all.  The very fabric of our lives is built on our nation's consumeristic economy and we're fed a steady diet of fear and consumption.  All that consumption and fear is really just replacing or at least attempting to fill an unfillable void within ourselves.  How many material things and negative messages from an endless stream of direct TV channels can we put into that hole in our soul?  The answer, well there is no answer.  We keep stuffing and cramming and pushing all the materialistic, pleasure providing, fear evoking items in day after day.  And to what end?  Well, most of us are overweight, unhappy, and financially strapped but yet we continue to blindly throw caution into the abyss.

I propose another way of life.  Less is more.  I won't even attempt to tell you anything different than many a great mind have and continue to tell us today.  We are over consuming and I believe we all understand that on some level but the problem is we don't know how or if we did, even have the ability to moderate, much less stop.  Then the challenge isn't stopping or even moderating but redirecting ourselves entirely.  Please understand that there are external forces that will, at least for a time, temporarily slow us down or stop us momentarily.  But there is no external force that will bring permanent change.  It has to begin from within.  Some of us, unfortunately will never get off of the hamster wheel.  They will only live and not learn.  Sadly, that has been the way of world from time immemorial.

How do we save ourselves and those around us?  How do we ourselves change and help others change?  I propsoe we live quietly, love openly, care greatly.  By doing so you will see yourself change and also help those that are helpless to change as well.  Living by quiet example gives you time to think and observe. It strenghtens your meaning for living and helps you to define who and what you stand for.  Only then can you enjoy profound and lasting change for the better.

Aside from or within a given religion, I would encourage you to develop a prayer to meditate on and a set of principles to live by.  Question what you believe, what do you not like about yourself, the world or what you see in others.  Write out how you would like to live out your life.  Keep a journal or a blog and visit them frequently to collect your thoughts.  Good luck and let me know if I can help.

Do Not Seek the Treasure.

"All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree."

-Albert Einstein

I don't doubt that each person sees the world differently.  We could each walk down the beach and remember certain aspects of it in different ways.  I find it fasinating and disturbing at the same time what people do with those experiences.  Some quietly appreciate the walk and the experience of the sound of the waves, warmth of the sun, sand under foot.  Others feel compelled to interpret the experience not only for themselves but for others.  Then there's the third group that want to interpret your experience on the beach for you and assign some meaning to it that must be embraced. 

My goal in the remainder of this life, is to quietly appreciate how others uniquely experience their walk on the beach and not impose my view or own experience.  Simply help them embrace the walk for all it can offer them and challange myself to remain on life's beach and not retreat to the shade.  Doesn't sound very glamourus does it?  Well, it isn't meant to be or even be that complicated.  However, for most of us it is damn near impossible.  That's why so few can or have done it and I'll bet you that the ones you've known who did it for you are the ones that you love and respect the most.

Who Ate My Cheese?

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."

- Homer Simpson

I used to joke that I'd like to become a monk.   The thought of a quiet monastic life in some remote and secluded place really sounded appealing.  Yes sir, being away from all of modern life's excesses and expectations was the place for me.  Brother Patrick spending is days in contemplative study or doing some rewarding manual labor of love like making cheese or shepherding goats.  Do you actually shepherd goats or just sheep?  Well I like goats and it's my fantasy!

The problem with trying to trying to get away from it all, so to speak, is we get further from the opportunity to grow.  I've come to realize that we grow emotionally and spiritually best when we're presented with failures, pain and suffering.  We can grow without them but not nearly as quick.  I also strongly believe you can't grow in the absence of faith or a belief in a higher purpose.  Without faith and or purpose people develop an avoidance to pain and suffering at all costs.  Which in return seems to harden them and make them selfish and cynical.  It is important to note that pain is inevitable but suffering can be optional.

Humble Berry Pie

"Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them."

-Author unknown

I was forced to eat some Humble Pie today and I can't say that it tasted all that terrific.  I had to make an apology to someone I really didn't want to have to apologize to for something I honestly didn't feel that apologetic for.  It reminded me of a kid being scolded for something and then made to apologize to whoever was offended.  Followed up by, "say it like you mean it".

Pride is one of the seven deadly sins and it has been called out by some as the most insidious.  I don't know about that but I do know thinking we know everything is as human as human is.  None of us want to be wrong, not even in the slightest way.  But that's where the counter weight or the proverbial ying to pride's yang comes into play.  Humility.  Pride is strong but humility is immeasurable in strength but isn't all that glamorous.  One thing to note, you won't find any great human being that didn't possess it.   Were they born with it?  I doubt it.  However, at some point in their life they began to understand humility's importance and they cultivated it within themselves until pride was displaced.

Learning to say you are sorry is a very difficult thing but it does get easier.  Also you don't even have to mean it when you say it.  Seriously, the fact that you recognize that it needs to be said and even greater your ability to muster the words from your mouth is monumental.  Acceptance comes later.  Also think about this, the act of apologizing actually does more for you than the person being apologized to.  Pride kills the soul but humility softens the heart.  You won't live, truly live, without it.

Run Forrest Run

"Life's like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you're gonna get."

-Forrest Gump

I feel like Forrest Gump sometimes, that I'd just like to start running and not stop.  At least for a long time and especially when I get a piece of life's chocolate I really don't care for.  But I've begun to just eat the piece I'm given and simply wait for the ones I like better.  No sticking my finger in the bottom to see what kind it is and putting it back.  I'm all in, what ever comes, comes.  And that's all I have to say about that.

I don't know what it is but as soon as August arrives I start feeling like Summer is over and Fall is coming.  I don't know how I could associate 90 degree temperatures with Fall but it happens every year.  Maybe school starting up or knowing September is only four weeks away.  I love Fall but I do enjoy Summer.  All in all, I cherish the four distinct seasons we enjoy in Kentucky.  Every one of them has their magical moments.

What's the most physically painful thing you ever had to endure?  Root canal, broken bone, a burn?  For me I think it would be one of two.  Cutting the tip of my finger off with a pair of scissors will landscaping!  Or maybe having a plantars wart burned off of the bottom of my foot.  It really wasn't the burning but that freak'n needle and the numbing 'stuff' that hurt so bad.  Felt like battery acid being shoved in my foot.  If sucked.  They say for men kidney stones are close to the pain women experience having a baby.  I was in there for both my children's births and it was intense so I pray I never have a kidney stone. Ever!

Grasshopper

"And, in the end, the love you take/ Is equal to the love you make"

-Paul McCartney

I'm sure you've heard someone say "what goes around, comes around".  We can't control everything and not everything has a direct cause and effect.  But here's the catch, everything in life is interconnected.  Every thing you do and even think, good or bad causes a ripple effect.  That cause and affect is, as Buddhism teaches, Karma.

One of my pet peeves are people who talk behind other people backs.  I believe you shouldn't say anything about anyone unless you would say it with them standing there.  I honestly can think of only a handful of individuals that live by that principle.  I ain't one of them but I would like to be.  What do they say?  "If you can't say something good, don't say anything."  This is sad, but I used to wear a rubber band on my wrist and every time I had a negative thought I'd 'pop' myself. I think it's called negative reinforcement.

So, were you able to weave in living into your life today?  Sneak a moment of meditative thought or just do something for yourself?  Or did you just end up a day older and deeper in debt?  You want to know if I got some living in today?  Not really but I still have until bed time.  If you remember, I did buy a book to avoid watching TV so I'll read a few chapters of it before I sack out.  Not sure that qualifies as living but it beats a rerun of Myth Busters.  Maybe tomorrow.

Chunky Monkey

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." 

-Gandhi


If we all knew what that lie ahead of us, we be ashamed to have wasted precious time on things we only think are important at a given moment.  Putting and keeping things in perspective is a very difficult proposition for many and impossible for some.  I often wonder how people absent of faith do it but even more interesting is how those of faith do.  I bet many would say "life's too short and the world too big to get hung up on the small stuff."

Today was a good day.  I spent time with a good friend taking a ride to a business meeting.  I cherished our 'windshied time' and the great uninterrupted conversations we were able to have.  We solved a few of the world's problems but mainly stuck to talk of semi retirement and what that might be like if and when it ever came.  We felt in a way it was only a pipe dream.  An unattainable carrot on a stick.  We then concluded the only way to beat the system was to weave living into life.  A 'stop and smell the roses' when you can sort of approach.  Saving everything up for some climatic golden years moment was not only impractical but down right fool hardy.

In order to 'weave living into life' you have to be willing to slow down.  You also have to practive quieting yourself.  Call it meditation if you like.  There are also some practicle ways to slow down. 

• Stop on yellow at stop lights and count to 'two Mississippi' at stop signs.
• Bring in a shopping cart from the lot when entering a store.  Park two empty spots away from the door of the store.
• Hold the door for who ever is behind you.  Let someone go ahead of you in line.  Get in the longest line to check out and think good thought about those ahead of you in line.
• Never exceed 5 mph over the speed limit.  Never pass anyone going 5 mph slower than you.  Maintain a 8 second gap. Leave 5 minutes early to where ever you are going.
• Always pick up a penny.  Buy someone's coffee.  Tell someone you like their outfit.
• Stop and eat ice cream every once in a while. 
• Pickup some trash and throw it away.

There is no spoon

"Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."

-The Matrix

I've come to realize that life doesn't change, only our perception of it.  How we view things is our reality and surprisingly others view things differently than we do.   I contend that we are most comfortable around those that view life as we view it and those people tend to be our family, become our friends or close associates. The challenge is to allow ourselves to glimpse the world as others unlike ourselves see it.   If we can alter our perception, if only temporarily, we are forever changed and I contend for the better.

A got a old VW Beetle from a good friend of mine.  My goal is to restore it to its original splendor.  I can see me now cruising the classic yellow Bug down an old country road puffing on a fine cigar with the radio on.   That whole 'breeze in my hair' thing or face since I'm folliclely challenged.  I'll work on posting a picture of it so you can see the progress of the 'Love Bug's' renovation.

What do you want to do other than what you're doing? Open a floral shop, or work at a bakery? I've been thinking about semi-retirement or at least my next career.  What do I want to do with the second half of my life?  My goal is to semi retire by age 55 and I'm 46 now.  So I have nine years to pay off my mortgage, get two kids through college and then execute my escape plan.  I hope I don't get caught and sent back.  Wish me luck.  

Morning Glory

"Some people live and learn and others just live."

-My Dad

I wasn't always a morning person and if it weren't for coffee, I wouldn't be now.  I didn't start drinking coffee until I was 35 years old and then only as a matter of necessity.  I generally lean towards the dark side.  Keep in mind when I started drinking coffee I was weened on Starbucks.  From that point on, everything else tasted like warm water in comparison.  A curse really.   Just as my kids learned to look for the Golden Arches, I tended to look for the beautiful Starbuck's coffee Siren calling my name.  Good, bad or other, I'm hooked on the bean.

I had a thought the other day about planning my own funeral or wake.  Wake sounds less morbid.  The question really is, should we be the ones to decide what our wake should be?  Is it for me or for those that are seeing me off to decide?  A funeral is a process of closure I suppose.  But for me I like the thought of getting everything ready.  It all feels like getting ready for a trip or a vacation.  Doing all the things you do before you leave such as mowing the yard, taking out the trash, stopping the mail and have someone to look after the pets.

They say as you gain wisdom the longer you live and the more life you experience.   The funny thing about wisdom is no one wants you to impart it on them without them asking for it.  Then if they do ask, they generally still go ahead and do what they wanted to do in the first place.  That whole 'live and learn' thing.  But I suppose that's how we become wise.  And for those that don't wise up, well I guess they just chose to live and skip the learning part.  That's ok too, because wise people as a matter of being wise learn to accept people and their actions just as they are.

Bang Your Head!

John Lennon wrote, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

I was listening to the 80's Hair Band channel this morning on my way into work.  Quiet Riot's 'Bang Your Head' was on and actually got me singing along and pumping my fist in the air.   I didn't know all the words, and I'm sure we've all experienced that when trying to sing along.  Anyway I had the chorus down.

Sort of silly how we take and make life so complicated.  Always looking for the next great thing to have, do, eat or buy all the while, as John said, life passes us by so to speak.  Not me, my life's goal is to live in the moment as much as possible.  To do that you really have to focus, pay attention and listen.  It ain't easy.

Every wish you could win the lottery?  Almost everyone that does seems to have their life 'go to hell in a hand basket'.  The only happy winners are those that stay life's course and give the money away.  I promised God if I ever won (I don't play) but if I did and were to win, I'd give it away.  Maybe he'll let me win just to test me. 

What's the frequency Kenneth?

"Be 'still' to become peaceful and concentrated.  When we are still, looking deeply and touching the source of our true wisdom, we touch the living Buddha and living Christ in ourselves and those we meet."

-the Buddha

I went to Walmart to get a book to read in an attempt to curtail my obsession with television.  I'm addicted to the Dish Network.  I can lay in a catatonic state watching Deadliest Catch, Dirty Jobs, Jersey Shore, Man vs Food or name any one of a gazillion reality TV shows.  I know life is passing by as I lay on the couch or in bed channel grazing endlessly.  It's my middle age 'crack'.

They say 'crack' or is it 'crystal meth' (I'm not sure of the difference) causes you to prematurely use up all your serotonin, thus leaving you with the inability to enjoy anything in life.  Ever.  I feel like TV has done that to me.  I'm only soothed when I'm getting my fix of the Dish Network.  But like every good addict I must face rehab or an intervention of some sort.   By the way, I love that show Intervention on A&E.

Enough about me.  What about you?  On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel about your life?  I'm sure there are lots of things you wish for.  All of us do but what sucks is once we get them we're no happier than we were.  More often than not, we're less happy.  Hey I'm no Dr. Phil, I've just learned the hard way and my Mastercard will attest to it.   Please don't confuse happiness with peace.  There is no such thing as true and lasting happiness, only inner peace.

Hear and Now

"We must be aware of the suffering created by intolerance and be determined not to be idolatrous or bound to any doctrine, theory or ideology.  We must look deeply and develop our understanding and compassion."

- One of the Mindful teachings

I made cupcakes this morning.  Nothing special cupcakes, just your garden variety white cupcakes with white frosting.  They don't represent anything special, I just decided to see if I could make them and hope someone might enjoy them.

Our small town held its first annual Bourbon and Barbecue festival.  A humble start but I'm sure if it continues it will grow into something.  Warm weather, hot barbecue and ice cold beer along with the ubiquitous Corn Hole competition.   Seems like a recipe for success to me.

Mind you, any time there's a community event you'll see every race, color and creed of people.  I have to hand it to our community in that we seem to all just get along.  A very tolerant group.  We're a diverse group; Catholics, Protestants, Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, upper, middle and lower classes all seeming to march to the same beat.  I appreciate that about our community.

If you could have a Super Power what would it be? Invisability, ability to fly, super human strenght, X-ray vision? Me, I think telaportation. 'Boink' pop right into Starbucks for coffee and 'Boink' right back to my bed. Or telaport to Jamaica for lunch and a swim and right back home. Oh yeah....telaporting is my thing.